Oct 31st, 2012 by Not Far From The Tree
We all know that the Zombie Apocalypse is inevitable. The Zombie Awareness Month that has been taking place south of the border has made this much clear. We don’t know when and we don’t know how the Zombie Apocalypse will take place, but we do know that fruit trees will play a vital role in helping us to survive.
These are just five of the ways that fruit trees will help us to survive the Zombie hordes.
1.) Fruit trees are a vital food source that is already existing within the city. While many will be tempted to flee the city when the Zombie Apocalypse begins it is better to stay within the city during the initial exodus. It is best to avoid the traffic jam that will take place during this initial exodus as it will be a feeding ground for the roaming Zombie masses. While in the city, you’ll want to enjoy some delicious fresh fruit. Avoid looting and pillaging grocery stores by visiting one of the thousands of fruit trees that Toronto has to offer. There is over 1.5 million pounds of fruit to be picked within Toronto so there will be no need to go hungry during the Zombie Apocalypse.
2.) Everybody knows Zombies can’t climb. By climbing fruit trees you’ll be able to avoid the hungry Zombies that are lurking around the city streets. While you are out gleaning fruit you’ll be safe at the top of a tree. Unfortunately, we may need to abandon one of our fruit picking safety rules as no one will want to hold the ladder on the ground where all the Zombies are.
3.) Fruit makes an excellent projectile. Smaller fruits such as cherries, mulberries or Saskatoon berries will have little to no effect when hurled at a Zombie. However, larger heavier fruit such as apples or pears (particularly when under ripe) can be used as projectiles to take out Zombies. Just remember to aim for the head.
4.) Canning abilities will be essential for survival. The first three notes are for how fruit trees will help you to survive the summer months. If you are lucky enough to make it through the summer, fruit trees will continue to help you survive the winter. It will be essential to hunker down for the winter and to do this you’ll want to fill your pantry with canned fruit. Assemble what friends you have left from the apocalypse, pick some trees, and have a canning party. The fruit you preserve in the summer and fall will keep you nourished through the winter.
5.) Use bikes to do your fruit picking. Once the Zombie apocalypse begins all the gasoline will be burnt up quite quickly. All the infrastructure for getting gasoline into the city will have disappeared. This will make using cars impossible. Bikes will be the best form of transportation, a cargo bike is ideal. It is true that a bike will leave you more exposed than a car but bikes are significantly quieter. This will allow you to ride through the streets unnoticed by the Zombie hordes. If you are noticed by the Zombies be sure to have a friend in the front of the cargo bike armed with apple and pear projectiles to take out any Zombie threats.
Can you think of any other ways fruit trees could help in the survival of the Zombie Apocalypse? Happy Halloween!